Puppeteering?

Proposals for things often take up a lot of time and energy. Sometimes they are successful. But sometimes they are not. I seem to have written rather a lot of them over the last few weeks: to present at conferences; to curate an exhibition; to work on a piece of freelance creative engagement work.

And then there are the proposals still on my ‘to do’ list. The competition, the application, the symposium, the essay for a publication.
I propose that I do this… We propose that we do this…

Yet despite the intention that I will do all of these things (for that is what a proposal is), their actuality, their future reality, is (actually) completely out of my hands. If these proposals are not accepted for whatever reason, then they are not actual, and I wonder then, whether then they are even potentialities? Will I still do these things? Which ones can I still do, even in the face of rejection by another? Can I do any of them?

At what stage do we let go of our ideas, consign the possibilities to the bin and move onto the next thing? Perhaps we don’t. I’m not sure why I am mulling these things over. Perhaps there are bigger questions here about freedom, responsibility, choice… Are we all ultimately beholden to the puppeteer who pulls on the strings?